I should be thankful

It's 13th August. It's 11.31 p.m
I'm currently lying purposeless on my bed, thinking about many things.

Despite many things running through my head now,
one thing in particular is dominating my thought process,
My parents

My dad is currently in Singapore,
My mum is upstairs, watching tv or maybe asleep.

Last January, I found out that my dad kept a lot of my childhood videos,
Videos that I never knew existed

Upon watching the videos, I feel sad and thankful
20 years I have lived in this world.
Of cause I owe it all to God that I'm still alive
But the way I'm raised, I owe it all to my parents

My life is pretty much good
I got everything I need

A room, gadgets, a car, proper education, allowance and most importantly, love and attention.
I have it all.

But at times, I feel that I don't deserve this
I'm not sure if I've been a good son to them
It even makes me think, will I ever be as good as them, parenting wise

Can I raise my child  (assuming I'll get married and have a child) nearly as good as how my parents raised me?
Can I provide him/her with the attention and proper love that parents gave?
I don't know and I'm afraid.

I remember last year, I lied to my parents about getting an offer to enter a University
Yes they were mad, but they didn't leave me to solve the problem
They troubled themselves to meet the foundation's management and begged for an alternative
And today I'm entering my 2nd semester because of them.

Both my parents are nearing 60 years old
I don't know how much longer I'll be with them
That's why, I'm trying my best to spend as much time as I can with them.

I love my parents and I'm thankful for everything they've done for me
Though they won't know about this post,
What ever happens, I'll pray for them and be by their side whenever they need me

                                                               (My Mum and Dad)



I hope that I'm a good enough son for them